Three months ago I went to Morocco to start my yoga teacher-training journey with Be-Yoga (Haywards Heath). In less than one month’s time I’ll be a fully qualified 200hr yoga teacher. As I’m technically just past the mid-point of this six-module course, although it feels as if the end is hurtling towards me, I thought it was time to check in with where I’m at. I could list the achievements and milestones I’ve hit so far, but one of the things I’ve learned on the course is that it’s not always all about these things. So, instead, I’ve written a bit more of a personal account on how the course has affected me as well as a bit on what we’ve been learning.
Did you expect to be where you are now when you started?
One of the teachers on the course recently asked me the question above. In one way, yes, I expected to be on the way to teaching yoga and to feel like I could put together and teach a class. In other ways, though, I don’t think I could ever have predicted where I’d be. I knew this course would change me, as anything that makes us look inside ourselves will, but I didn’t know how it would. And I suppose that’s something you never can know about things like this, until you do them. I am changing, I have changed, I am different, and I am continuing to unravel and evolve.
Some days it’s really hard, I feel like a total mess as if pieces of me are scattered about all over the place, dancing a wild dance, making it impossible to collect them together into any coherent whole. Other days it’s joyful, a wonder and a total privilege to be on this journey discovering all these new things about myself and the world around me.
Whilst our week in Morocco touched on the basics of a lot of different theories, and delved deeply into physical practice, our weekend modules have taken us deeper into specific areas. We’ve covered Anatomy and Physiology; History and Philosophy; and have two weekends on Teaching Methodology before our final assessment weekend. It sounds like a lot, it is a lot. We’ve learned A LOT. And every time I learn one thing, I realise how much more there is to learn and that I want to learn. It’s taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that this learning process is one that lasts a lifetime.
When we started the course and the teacher impressed on us the fact that this is just a foundation I balked at that word. My mind was thinking ‘200 hours, a foundation, ridiculous!’. I decided I would do all the reading and feel totally smug and smart by the end of it. Yeah, right. It’s taken me most of the course to get to grips with the fact that we are constantly learning and that, as a yoga teacher, you teach what you know now and then maybe later you add to that as you learn a bit more. My practice of teaching yoga will evolve with my practice of learning yoga; they are intrinsically linked, teacher and student are one and the same and I love that. That’s how it should be.
And finally, to the group of women who are on this journey with me. To anyone out there starting a yoga teacher training, I hope you get a group as strong, courageous and loving as this. From the work we do on the yoga mat, to the communal food we bring for lunches and the oh-so-important tea breaks, every weekend is a joy even if it’s also challenging. I know that my yoga tribe will be here to support me throughout this life-long journey of learning.