I’m a yoga teacher! On finishing my yoga teacher-training.

Six months ago I left my flat to go to Morocco and start my yoga-teacher training. Terrified, not wanting to leave the safety of everything I knew and step into the unknown. I was scared of what the 6 months would hold and, honestly, I was scared of the changes I knew would happen within me.

Now I, and the 15 other wonderful women I had the pleasure to train with, have completed the course. Final assessments including teaching our own 1 hour sequence done. And I feel like I can do anything. I feel stronger than I’ve ever felt, and perhaps it’s something to do with those rock hard abs (hello yoga body), but quite possibly it’s more subtle than that.

yoga-teacher-certificate

Little did I know I had no reason to be scared. Not because the journey hasn’t been difficult and scary, because it has, but because I’ve been on it with the best group I could possibly have imagined. Not a group so much as a community, a kula; a place full of compassion, support and so much love. I sound like I’m gushing, I am, but it’s true.

I’m stronger in mind, spirit and body…

The changes I’ve witnessed in every single one of us on the course are amazing. Some people seem entirely different – and that’s not just me saying that, they’d tell you the same. Seriously – if this is what yoga can do, we should be teaching it in schools all over the world. (but that’s a discussion for another time).

Sometimes I look back and wonder “how did I get here?”. A conversation with a friend who’s surprised at my being so into yoga (it’s happened more than once) gets me wondering how it all started. To tell you the truth I don’t really remember the exact point at which it suddenly clicked. Yoga and I had been off and on for years; and then I found Yoga With Adriene on YouTube, did the 31 day Yoga Camp programme in January 2016 and have been doing yoga everyday since.

But when did I consider teacher training?

I just remember it being there, a quiet little seed of a thought, in my mind only. Telling no-one, but wondering ‘maybe I could…?’. Then finally, tentatively, broaching the subject with family and friends. Twice the reaction “yes, of course” as if this were my destiny that – now spoken – had become self-evident.

And maybe it is a destiny that’s been hiding, latent within me for a long time. I can see why people were confused, though, because for most of my adult life I haven’t lived a very yogic lifestyle. I’ve had tapas (fiery discipline and strong work ethic) in abundance, but ahimsa (self-care, non harming, love) not so much.

But now? Now is the first time I feel I’m truly living my life authentically, from the heart, from the core of me. It’s not just the yoga, there are other aspects to my journey, but yoga is certainly one of the central pieces.

puja-yoga-teacher-exam

The end is really only the beginning

So, to all my fellow Be-Yoga Teacher Trainees of 2017 wearing their purple yarn bracelets and wondering what next? I saw thank you, well done, we did it, Namaste; the journey has only just begun, and all is coming. To anyone reading this, with a ‘maybe I could…’ seed in your mind. Water it. Let it grow, mention it to someone. See what happens. Whether it’s yoga teacher training, or anything else. Do not deny those wonderful seeds of dreams; because they come from somewhere deep inside you, and that place is normally where you’ll find your authenticity, your purpose, your dharma.

Ps. if any of you reading are in Sussex, I’ll be teaching a donation based class at Be-Yoga in Haywards Heath this Saturday 10th June, 5pm – 6pm. All welcome. Details here

About ecarr

Ellen is a writer and theatre maker who has just taken the freelance plunge after too many years of 9-5 office life. She is a yoga teacher in training and passionate about pursuing your dreams.

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